(Meow from outside door) Mom: I hear a kitty! (Opens door) Mom: Wait, where's the kitty? Was there ever a kitty? Am I on drugs?
(My little cousin wanted a dog, but we bought him a gerbil.) Store Worker: which one do you like? Cousin: The brown one with the big ears Store Worker: *Hands it to him* Me: What are you gonna name him? Cousin: BONER!
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Kitty's aim might be a little off...
The Doberman has to look good to, you know? That's how we hit the club, real talk.
(Me and mom making dinner, brother's ferret starts running around our feet): Mom: Put him in the oven, will you... Me: OVEN? Mom: Dammit, I meant cage. There's not enough meat on his bones yet. Now the dog...
