advice

Me: Dad, I can't remember what RNA is! Dad: Remember, RNA is sort of like an aggressive date. Me: ... Huh? Dad: It helps unzip your genes! Ha!

(After watching an ad against drunk driving) Dad: Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly! Mom: Yeah, that's a good lesson to teach your sixteen year old daughter. Dad: It's true! Don't make me throw my coffee mug at you.

Mom: Don't leave your windows cracked. Someone might put a snake in your car.