headphones

In an age where we fetishize outdated technology, it's hard to tell if this guy is way behind the times, or far ahead of it. I wouldn't be surprised if everyone carried a phonograph around with them instead of an iPod by the year 2030.

Apple's default headphones ARE a pair of rusty tin cans when compared with music appreciated through glorious high-definition, but yes, I guess there are other things you should worry about more. #konyewest #schoolbullying #peytonmanning

... any questions?

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SO. MUCH. PUN.

Make duct tape your best friend, with There I Fixed It!

From now on, I'm going to apply the term "doff" to whenever I remove my headphones to talk to someone.

Example: "So I was walking down the street the other day when I ran into Hank so I doffed my headphones and went 'Dude! Have you heard the new Death Grips single yet? It's raw as hell' and then I kept walking because it wasn't actually Hank and I felt embarrassed."

It's a shame he can't grow them around his ears.

On second thought, maybe it's for the best. If he could, he'd probably have some terrible glandular issue.

...on an overpriced iPhone.