sex

Went to bring my 50 something parents some medicine at 1:06am, door was unlocked barged in eyes open. Traumatized, lesson learned, knock even if you think your old parents are asleep & not sexually active. #LFMF

If you're having sex for the first time, just don't do what I did. #LFMF

When planning Roman-Patrician-and-slave themed sexual roleplay with your husband, make sure your teenage daughter and her friends are out. The ensuing situation can be awkward to say the least. #LFMF

In German, the only meaning of 'to sleep with so.' means to have sex with someone. Remember this before you ask your teacher if you can announce 'with who you'd like to sleep' in the hostel, right in front of your classmates... #LFMF

Telling your girlfriend you like having sex with the lights on is okay; telling her afterwards that her O-face is hilarious is not. #LFMyboyfriendsF

For the love of everything holy, if you are having sex with your boyfriend whose mother is very strict, don't get caught! Especially if said strict mother is also your boss. #LFMF

When you've had a bad day, drugs are not the answer. Alcohol is not the answer. Sex is not the answer. You know what they didn't tell you? Sleeping away the entire afternoon before a major test is ALSO not the answer. #LFMF

If you're going to play music while you and your girlfriend have sex, take the time to make an appropriate playlist beforehand, rather than just letting your media player cycle through the whole library. Some girls find a 10 hour version of the nyan cat song distracting.