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Those who need to embiggen their thumbs, look no further!

WARNING: Slightly graphic material and religious parody ahead. You've been warned.

Kevin Lawson of Tennesee was charged with the theft of guns, smokes, and food from a market earlier this week. The key evidence indicting him? The gloves he wore during the robbery thrown away in his neighbor's yard, and this incriminating selfie found on his phone after he willingly gave it to investigators. Clearly this man is going up in the ranks of the criminal underworld very soon.

On the bright side, look at how few of them are taking vertical video!

Take a look at the bottom right-hand corner of that phone, the reflection tells the story of a guy who's going to get a severe talking to.

We already knew smartphones were an indispensable pooping tool, but every new excretory-related function we uncover continues to amaze.