phone

Followed up by: "CEO nobody cares about announces he is super gay and supports Linux."

The Unicode Consortium responsible for standardizing text characters and emoji across different platforms recently announced that they'll be unleashing a new batch of characters for 2016. You can see some of the highlights above from Yahoo, including the much-requested "selfie" and "bacon" emoji.

The elephant in the room, however, is the lack of a taco emoji. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EXPRESS TACO BELL REGRET, UNICODE CONSORTIUM? You expect me to use my words like an Actual Human Being? That's gosh-dang absurd and you know it.

If you're curious the emoji subcommittee (again a Real Thing and not something we just made up) has some explanations for their selections. Otherwise, here's a list of what's the come in 2016:

Face with cowboy hat
Clown face
Nauseated face
Rolling on the floor laughing
Drooling face
Lying face
“Call me” hand
Selfie
Raised back of hand
Left-facing fist
Right-facing fist
Handshake
Hand with first and index finger crossed
Pregnant woman
Face palm
Shrug
Man dancing
Prince
Man in tuxedo
Mother Christmas
Wilted flower
Scooter
Motor scooter
Octagonal sign
Clinking glasses
Black heart
Croissant
Avocado
Cucumber
Bacon
Potato
Carrot
Fox face
Eagle
Duck
Bat
Shark
Owl

Ella Birchenough dropped her Blackberry into a storm drain after fumbling to get it into her pocket (don't laugh, we've all been there). Not content with losing it forever, she attempted to excavate the phone herself. Then, in a scene straight out of Every Cartoon Ever, her legs were left dangling while her upper torso was stuck in the drain. Birchenough insisted that she didn't need assistance, but her panicked mother called the local fire department to help get her out safely.

The phone, however, now belongs to the rats and sewer mutants.