oral sex

She must have an awfully close relationship with her dentist to be giving him/her personal phone numbers...

What I'm saying is that you have a small penis.

The best valentines day poem I could *come* up with

Someone had too much sugar for breakfast.

Hey, we went from a post about swallows to a post about swallowing. THEMES.

He better get that checked.

Worst Valentine's Day ever.

inb4 someone points out that you can't interrupt someone in the middle of a text message. Shhh, don't speak.