You'll be eligible for parole in 15 minutes.

If there's anything that discourages kids from a life of crime, it's an anthropomorphic penis (yes, penis - to a 6-year-old, "weiner" and "penis" are the same thing) with big googly eyes. That'd scare me away faster than the former convicts working the cash register.

~OLJ

Become homeless and unemployed, steal, and get shafted out of proportion.