Some Men Just Want to Watch the World Brown...

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Why Samuel Beckett Wasn't a FedEx Driver

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If Michael Bay ever did an updated, modernized version of Waiting for Godot, "Godot" would definitely be an express delivery van. That could transform into a giant cockroach. And explode on command.

~Office Lackey Jack

All Jobs Have to Contend With Physics

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Busier Than Santa's Elves

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It's All Your Fault, Domino's!

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Great! Just great! Not only could I not get through the underwater levels, I couldn't beat any of the Tick Tock Clock levels in Super Mario 64! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME, DOMINO'S?

The Naps Are Usually 30 Minutes or Less

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Ask Them to Draw Something on the Package. Chances Are You Won't Be Disappointed.

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