I know I'm going to ruin a perfectly good picture of the world's most glorious all-in-one breakfast device by putting words underneath it, but my enthusiasm can be stayed for no longer! This is the contraption that I require to make my breakfast-making dreams complete. It is what haunts my every waking hour as I pour a measly bowl of cereal on a frigid Monday morning. NAY - It is what I imagine coming down the mountain from the east after the first light on the fifth day to save me from morning fatigue. It is the breakfast creator that we both need AND deserve.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, please bury me with one of these so I can take it with me to the afterlife.