Appreicate That it's Permanent

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Even if spelled correctly, that's a nasty block of text.

I Know Too Much About Your Ass

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Well that's weird. Have you tried toilet paper? Because it works WAY better.

I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO!

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You have t.p. for my bunghole?

Because isn't everybody at least a little passionate about metal folding chairs?

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At least go with something a little more comfortable. This just reminds me of middle school assemblies about abstinence education.