The Computer Case Nightstand

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The Computer Case Nightstand
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If you can't fix it, repurpose it!

The Burglar Buster

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The Burglar Buster
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Comes with a free set of bedpost nunchuks! Guaranteed to make you WIN battles against any burglar!

Soda Box Nightstand

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Soda Box Nightstand
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Having caffeine before bed can make getting to sleep a little rough. This is the closest alternative, I suppose.