There's Weirdo Sexy Fiction, Then There's "Invaded by the iWatch"

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It's exactly what you think it is.

The 4000 word short story is about the "smartwatch prototype that mysteriously arrives at the door" of one Christie Aackerlund. Finally, someone who had the creative chutzpah to ask "how does a watch pork a real live human being?"

As the author lists on their Amazon page, however, the story is "only for super mature people who can handle it." 

This is the Woman in Australia Who Assaulted a Police Officer... With Breast Milk

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From the Daily Mail:

Perth's Erica Leeder appeared in Fremantle Magistrates Court on Wednesday and will remain in jail after she was not grant bail, 9News reported.

Western Australia police allege the 26-year-old took hold of her breast and squirted milk on to the female officer who was performing the strip search on Leeder.

The milk hit the officer on the forehead, arms and clothing while Leeder was naked from the waist up, according to Perth Now.

Equal Parts Creepy, Crazy, and Kitty

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Instructor Housetsu Sato and his students at the Japan School of Wool Art made this monstrous beauty. The piece will be on display in the Tokyo Metropolitan Art Museum April 18 through the 23rd. They're even entertaining the idea of renting it out once it's done, in case you really need to ruin some child's birthday party.