Does the five-second rule apply to tasting the rainbow?

Hard to say, but the Dodge County Sheriff’s Office are trying to find out, and being really funny about it. They are investigating a glowing red road, which, upon closer inspection, turned out to be covered in skittles. Was this a prank by one of those sprites that leave candy-related whimsy around the midwest?

No, as it turns out, someone was transporting a crap-load of loose skittles to be fed to cows. Apparently, it’s an old practice to fill cow-feed with candy to keep prices low. Lucky cows. Getting to eat candy for dinner before slaughter and consumption. I wish I could eat candy for dinner!

So the American flag is red, white, and blue, but the British flag is...

I think that covers his media coverage for the season.