Seriously though, there is so much going on here that is the epitome of FAIL. Starting with the fact that this guy is reproducing. 

I think it goes without saying, if you are going to go as far as to have an illegitimate child that you don't know exists, at least give them the good graces and don't give them a name like 'Fidgit Spinner'

Sometimes being a parent doesn't go according to plan and you're left horrified at your own creation.