I swear to God, if another flight attendant tells me that my iPod is going to crash the plane I'm going to... well... I'll write a very strongly worded letter to the FAA, that's what I'll do!

This would all be well and fine if it wasn't a big fat lie.

WARNING: Number-two-based language.

You were graphing in 4th grade? You must have been one smart 10-year-old.