A solid WIN-coated tale of excellence right here, guys: pizza bro has some money invested in horse, horse ends up winning, naturally pizza bro goes on to enjoy his newfound riches and spoils and live a momentary life at the height of decadence itself. So ever responsible, and apparently supremely honest, Gaslight Pizza Shop Bro owner Blake Pendlebury posted a note on Facebook about how he wouldn't be able to open shop that night to serve the hungry denizens.

The truth will set you free, Dave.

UnFORTUNEately, sometimes you need to hear the truth. Who better to give you brutally honest advice than a strip of paper from the inside of a cookie?