gold

This criminal really went up his own ass. 

A former Royal Canadian Mint worker who tried to steal gold by smuggling it through metal detectors via his butt is getting 30 months in jail. But here's a kick in the pants: He was convicted by Ontario Court judge Peter Doody. 

C'mon, guys. You're shitting me. This is like a murder suspect being
convicted by the Honorable Judge Knife Plundge.

via Fearless Flyer

Please don't put those in your mouth


Apparently, Leston Lawrence, the butt gold smuggler, had the job of "purifying recently procured gold" and being in charge of all irony at the Mint. He got caught trying to cash to checks worth $15,200 from Ottawa Gold Buyers, which tipped off the bank. All in all, he stole 22 gold pucks worth $165,451.14.

via GIPHY

the name of the judge in the case of the guy sneaking gold pucks out of the mint via his bum is PETER DOODY pic.twitter.com/BS1AsjWOnA

— Mike Barber (@mbarber86) February 2, 2017

The 6-pound nugget was discovered in northern California on public land.