Flavorwire serves us up some cocktails inspired by literary classics, with my personal favorite being the Catcher in the Rye. Do I care that it's just a dolled up Old Fashioned? No. No I do not.

There's no better way to start off your day than to start with a Squirtle and evolve your way up to "Too Drunk to Function At 9 a.m.," also known as "Blastoise."

The added bonus is that every single one is poisoned, per George R.R. Martin's willingness to kill anyone at any time!

Hope everyone's weekend was fruitful, because your Monday is about to be just that. It's never too early for creatively shaped jello shots that would make drunk Bill Cosby proud.