drunk text

By Unknown
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

Excuse me, I'm fluent in Drunkish. Ahem!

"Hey man, I'm all for Hugo asking Bruno out on a date. They really seem like they have a lot in common."

"Let me re-phrase, I'm STRON[G]LY in favor of it!"

"What????"

"They go together like N and Ñ in the Spanish alphabet!"

"I'd like to talk to you on the phone about it, but it's too damn loud in here."

"Lord, that's odd! The po-po just showed up to the party and they just signed up on the beer pong table queue!"

Untitled
By Unknown
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

Are you sure you meant to say "complicated?" Are you sure you didn't mean to say "Oh god. So drunk right now. Why did I have so many martinis whyyyyyyy?"

Drunk-With-Phone SUCCESS
By Unknown
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

That moment Saturday or Sunday morning when you frantically check your history to see if you made an ass of yourself last night.

Currently Easy to Amuse
Via: apirateslifeformeh.tumblr.com
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

As before, here's a rough translation of the drunk/high textspeak in case you're having trouble.

Npppppp u am nitvhigh I moss dt ey ismt she esting pancakrx: "My N.P.'s (Nurse Practitioner's) uncle held his bat mitzvah this a.m. (it was a morning party) and my gift of edible moss only succeeded in establishing pancreatic ulcers in my host."

Cddk be: "(the) Caterer Dummies Didn't Know; (they) Belayed Eating (the moss)"

Um hoooot hiiiiiifg,,,, wtf I gaac bonr,,,,: "Ultimately, I acted in the manner of a hooooting owl flying hiiiiiigh in the dead of night and covertly escaped the bat mitzvah, my footsteps low to the ground and subtle like a series of commas... my escape was so smooth and fluid that in the middle of it I unexpectedly got a Gigantic And Awesomely Curved Boner."

Hooooonkey: "[racial slur for white people]"

Via: NW Daily Marker
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

Three staff members of Rick Larsen, Democratic Congressman of Washington State's 2nd District, had the great idea of using Twitter to talk about using the office for drunken parties, blowing off work, and even talking s$%t about their boss. Suffice to say, they were fired yesterday. Here are some of their more memorable tweets.