Always late and not worth the wait

"I have a boyfriend" is the quickest way for a girl to get rid of a romantic suitor. Hot girls have become so accustomed to the lie that it has become a catch-all rejection and the words can spill out of their mouth before a guy even has a chance to speak. Relax sista, I just want to borrow the ketchup from your table, not walk you down the aisle.

There's a fragile balance of power when renters hand over a check to their landlord every month. Landlords need that money to come in and tenants need to live somewhere, so there's a predictable symbiosis in their relationship. Usually landlords are the ones with the bad rep, thwarting their power over a renter's desperation, but sometimes, landlords turn on other landlords when they get out-landlorded in public.

Picking a fight with your neighbors can be tricky business. You run the risk of starting an all-out war with people you can never avoid and there's rarely ever any reward– except of course, when you can use the power of nature (and plausible deniability) to get the sweetest revenge on a Karen next door.

Road rage is a pretty common emotion to feel when you're driving on the freeway. Contrarily, ‘road vindication’ is something seldom seen and for frequent road ragers, but it certainly would be nice to see some of the bad drivers and muppets you see behind the wheel get a little justice handed to them every now and then. Imagine if every tailgater, swerving, Fast & Furious wannabe got exactly what they deserved right in front of you eyes?

When you're planning an extended vacation, any mindful adult considers what they'll do with their pet and what they need to do to prepare their animal for their absence. One Karen recently proved to be the most unprepared pet owner in the vet clinic when she tried to skip the 20 person waiting list after procrastinating too long to make an appointment.

There's nothing worse than unnecessarily rowdy adults at a children's soccer team. Perhaps everyone thinks their child is a star athlete and is under the impression that their little golden goose is going to the big leagues one day. That may be, but for now, chill out Kevin, your boy is 8 and he's picking the grass in the goal. Sit back down and relax.

Laundry room etiquette isn't something you can learn from a book or read in a magazine. You learn about laundry rules from being in the trenches at the laundromat, slinging quarters for an extra 15 minutes to nuke your clothes and still have them come out a little damp. The fury you feel after experiencing a laundromat faux pas is what teaches you right from wrong.

Overnight shifts are brutal. You clock in at midnight and go home when the rest of the world is just starting to wake up. If you're not nocturnal, the 7am slump hits harder than Rocky Balboa after his training montage, and you're desperate to get home as soon as your shift is over. In this case, one overnight employee was brought to the brink after losing her patience with a coworker who was supposed to relieve her at the end of her shift.