cars

If you think your garage is too tight to park in, just be grateful that it's on the ground floor.

Look, kids, you don't need seatbelts. Just run around in the backseat. That's the way we did it when I was bopping. And you want to bop, don't you. Of course you do. You want to be cool like your old man. Now standup in the backseat and have the time of your life. 

Like bullfighting, the Running of the Bulls is fun for spectators and horrible for the bulls. Audiences watch in delight as man asserts its dominance over the four-legged by showing that they're faster and stabbier than the bull. But if you put that sword down or take those Nikes off, you are f'd. 

This bull gets it. Show what you do by just destroying this small SUV. 

"I don't know the car could explode?"

Men always listen to your passengers, whether you're too proud to ask for directions or you're driving past a flaming wreckage.

This video comes straight out of Charlotte, NC, where a rubbernecker and his family drove past a car fire. Slowing down to see what's happening, the driver's female passenger asks to move away from the car. Why? Because it might explode. Then it does. 

Keep driving. 

Sometimes when you have a car that’s worth more than $150,000, you have to show the world that you don’t give an F about S. 

This is even better than one of those screamer mufflers becasue it turns out 20 rubber chickens shoved in a tailpipe sounds like a thousand cats crying for food. 

Icing on the cake? This license plate:

Seems like this would be a good time to post this clip from Beverly Hills Cop. Hey, it involves tailpipes.

The rules of cars. 

1) Call "Shotgun"
2) Get "Shotgun"
3) If you're not shotgun, you're the bumper.
4) Keep it down back there (or I'll turn this car around)

Move along, just Russia being Russia