Lose the bald spot and we'll talk. Maybe.

DATING - PERSONALS:

"Totally cute and awesome goth chick looking for elder-statesmen straight-shooter who is totally only into goth chicks for NSA fun-times. Must be partially bald and otherwise physically unfit. No scammers or frauds."

Printed in: "The Daily WILL NEVER EXIST," Vol. X Issue: IN YOUR DREAMS.

MLP: Running Away in Terror is Magic.

And I hate having dead virtual animals from the '90s on my shirt. UGH.

It's not even so much that raver gear surprises, shocks, or horrifies me any more. That's not what gets me. I'm just amazed that kids are still overloading their senses on questionable drugs and more questionable music on the weekends like we're still in 1998 Essex or something.

Maybe you're really, really, REALLY, into your American history in the south. That's all well and good. The implications of wearing that around at a formal event? Maybe you need to ponder that a little bit.

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