My mother texts me: Hey... Dad wants a ticket to the game in green bay for Christmas... I believe it's a football game and I think it's the Packers against another team... Possibly the Yankees.

Cousin: *pointing to large five foot tall package by the Christmas tree* Dad is gonna love what I got him, he's been needing it for a while. His older brother: You need to poke holes in the box so the stripper can breath.