Mom: Don't sleep with anyone.
Me: I know, I know.
Mom: No, I'm serious, they don't look that good naked. God didn't do a very good job when he put them together.
Dad: Don't go into the dark, the Boogie Man will get you.
Me: You're the Boogie man, and the Tooth Fairy, and Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny
Dad: Don't talk about my sex life.
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