Mom would never get off the phone that quickly.
I know you're jealous of my stroller.
Okay, no more fire puns. Making fun of a flaming school bus is just cold...
Me (on phone): Hi mom, I'm just calling to let you know I survived the dorm fire.
Me: Yeah, we had a fire last night!
Mom: Did you start it?
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Aziz Ansari Captures Why it Sucks to be Single Today
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Prank Artist of the Day: Convince Repeat DUI Offender He's Been Unconscious for 10 Years
WELCOME! TO FINALS WEEK (AKA The Thunderdome)
To the Designer of This Soap Dispenser: I Salute You
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