(My date and I about to leave.)
Dad: Oh, and kids! Don't forget, stop teen pregnancy- take it in the ass!
Dad: What? I saw it online and thought it would come as great use to you.
(My dad questioning my sister's date to a Halloween dance)
Dad: You ever smoke pot?
Date: Yes sir, once, and I didn't like the way I felt out of control of my body.
Dad: Drink alcohol?
Date: For the same reasons I don't smoke I don't drink.
Dad: What is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?
Dad: The first person to kidnap Princess Peach was...?
Date: Donkey Kong.
Dad: When the first Pokemon movie came out and Ash turned to stone?
Date: I cried like a bitch.
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