"I wish Dad would stop humiliating me."
Happy birthday, son or daughter! Have some tasty floor cake!
(Today was my fifteenth birthday, and my mom woke me up at midnight to say this.) Mom: Happy Birthday! Me: Thanks, Mom. Mom: Would you like to hear about the hours of agonizing labor I went through when you were born? Me: Um. No thanks. Mom: Okay then. (leaves)
Mom: "Yeah, that's exactly what I said!"
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