(Furniture shopping with my parents.)
Mom: I like that this bed has a canopy... I'll have something to tie your dad up to.
(Talking to my 9-year-old brother)
Me: Hey, do you know who is coming on Saturday night?
Mom: Your Dad, if he's lucky.
Dad: Our entire family seems to have prostate problems. I have it, your grandpa has it, his father also has it... There's a good chance that you might have it too.
ME: Why is that?
DAD: I dunno, but we make up for it in sexual prowess.
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