As a species, iPhone whales have to pay very close attention to their facial hair. A few inches can mean the difference between a hipster and a Nazi.

In how many song titles can we replace the word "love" with "E" and pretend it's about drugs? All I've got is "All You Need Is E," "The Power of E," and "It's Only E."

Dear Diary, today a stranger generously corrected my grammar for me. I learned valuable lessons about parts of speech and I hope my spoken English adheres more faithfully to standard usage. Thank you, kind stranger, thank you.

A simple solution would be to not read other people's text messages.