They're All the Same

Favorite
They're All the Same
- -

As if "the sports bar" wasn't vague enough.

Black Hole Meets Dwarf Star

Favorite
Black Hole Meets Dwarf Star
- -

When I read the first line I thought this was a text from Michael Jackson Aging In Reverse™ (too soon?).

Time to Hire a Go-Between

Favorite
Time to Hire a Go-Between
- -

Are you sure you meant to say "complicated?" Are you sure you didn't mean to say "Oh god. So drunk right now. Why did I have so many martinis whyyyyyyy?"

You Kept Making Little "Vroom Vroom" Noises

Favorite
You Kept Making Little "Vroom Vroom" Noises
- -

Someone had left a plastic knife on the seat, and you said "Sorry, I can't drive stick."