You Thought You Were at a Potluck!

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chinet,iphone,paper plates,sms,text messaging
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You kept saying that your steering wheel was over 50 percent stronger than the leading disposable dinnerware brand! What the hell, man?

Lessons in Drunkish

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AutocoWrecks,drunk text,drunk texting,drunkish,sms,text messaging,texting,txt,txt messaging,txt msg,txting
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Excuse me, I'm fluent in Drunkish. Ahem!

"Hey man, I'm all for Hugo asking Bruno out on a date. They really seem like they have a lot in common."

"Let me re-phrase, I'm STRON[G]LY in favor of it!"

"What????"

"They go together like N and Ñ in the Spanish alphabet!"

"I'd like to talk to you on the phone about it, but it's too damn loud in here."

"Lord, that's odd! The po-po just showed up to the party and they just signed up on the beer pong table queue!"

Sweet, Jeff's Bringing the Spicy Food and ExLax

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let's get this party poop,lets-get-this-party-poopin,sms,text,text messaging,texting,toilet paper,txt,txting
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"Alright, who's on coconut milk duty?"

"I don't know, ask these guys.

Dear Drunk Self

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AutocoWrecks,bf,boyfriend,dating,gf,girlfriend,iphone,ipod,sms,text message,text messaging,texting,txt,txt msg
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"Do not use social media or communication devices of any kind."

Sincerely, Sober Self