You Thought You Were at a Potluck!

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You kept saying that your steering wheel was over 50 percent stronger than the leading disposable dinnerware brand! What the hell, man?

Lessons in Drunkish

AutocoWrecks,drunk text,drunk texting,drunkish,sms,text messaging,texting,txt,txt messaging,txt msg,txting
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Excuse me, I'm fluent in Drunkish. Ahem!

"Hey man, I'm all for Hugo asking Bruno out on a date. They really seem like they have a lot in common."

"Let me re-phrase, I'm STRON[G]LY in favor of it!"


"They go together like N and Ñ in the Spanish alphabet!"

"I'd like to talk to you on the phone about it, but it's too damn loud in here."

"Lord, that's odd! The po-po just showed up to the party and they just signed up on the beer pong table queue!"

Sweet, Jeff's Bringing the Spicy Food and ExLax

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"Alright, who's on coconut milk duty?"

"I don't know, ask these guys.

Dear Drunk Self

AutocoWrecks,bf,boyfriend,dating,gf,girlfriend,iphone,ipod,sms,text message,text messaging,texting,txt,txt msg
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"Do not use social media or communication devices of any kind."

Sincerely, Sober Self