Those people think they're so much better than us meat-eaters just because they don't eat meat... we'll show them, with the power of bacon!

While you were out doing whatever it is haters do, the gents at Epic Meal Time were finding out new ways to help men everywhere "elevate" themselves above the competition.

Goin' hard on a Friday night (no pun intended) and you want to hit the sack with that lady friend of yours after hitting the Jack Dagnels? Then get your hands around some Old-Time Bourbon-flavored lube, and rise to the occasion.

Real SMART!

As if the alcohol wasn't doing enough damage to your liver, now you can clog your arteries, give yourself heartburn, and even put on a few pounds in the process!