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ABSOLUTE.LEGEND. For real tho, this is what extreme athleticism looks like, guys. The Eiffel Tower costume-rocking athlete has been identified as 70-year-old Paris-based runner Michel Bach. A friend of Bach's says he has participated in (and finished!) over 200 marathons across the globe in places like New York, Chicago, Paris, Los Angeles and Nepal.

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J.K. Rowling's been wielding that electric wit with brutal, knifelike precision lately, when it comes to run of the mill alt-right cucks going after her on Twitter. These are some of the latest victims to her words of sweet savagery. 

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After getting himself into some tax issues, Nelly owes the IRS a good chunk of change or he's going to jail. Someone calculated exactly how many Spotify plays Nelly would need for the royalties to pay off his IRS bill and has started a World Wide Web streaming party to #SaveNelly.

Bravo Internet! 👏

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