Had a Monster Energy Drink Lately? Congratulations: You Drank Pure, 100 Percent Satan Juice

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And don't even get me started on the demonic imagery in Red Bull...

Checkmate, Christfriends

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Religious Group Gets Their Pamphlet Wrong, Makes It Seem Like Jesus Has No Time for You

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And on the third day, Jesus still didn't give a damn about your stupid problems.

Blood of the Lamb, B***h!

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He's a Pretty Cool Guy, Bro

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"What up, my name is Christian, these be my homeboys E. Harmony and Match.com."

Well That's Not Very Christian of You

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Get thee to a nunnery!