"It's Moby dck!"

Michael Bergin had himself an aquatic adventure the likes of which the rest of us can only dream of having.

Well, at least he acted like it. The very excitable Bostonian (actually his Facebook profile says he's from Malden, MA, which is just outside Boston) landed the fish of his dreams and goes fckin' insane during the whole f*ckin' adventure.

And you lucky bastard get to see the whole f*ckin' start of the f*ckin' thing right here, bro:



This glorious man guesses that it's everything from a baby whale to a tuna.

We're almost positive it's an ocean sunfish, which do indeed swim in the Atlantic. A few of the Facebook commenters agreed with us.

Meanwhile in Boston… the mayor wants residents to stop jumping out windows.

At a press conference on Tuesday, Mayor Martin J. Walsh issued a warning to anyone participating in a viral video trend where they record themselves diving into piles of snow.

People have been posting the clips online to YouTube and Vine with the hashtag#BostonBlizzardChallenge.

“I’m asking people to stop their nonsense right now. These are adults jumping out windows,” he said. “This isn’t a Loon Mountain, this is the city of Boston.”

Actual Loon Mountain in New Hampshire also got wind of the Mayor’s comments, and they say they don’t want any of these shenanigans either. They spoke with one of the jumpers about it in a new video.

So how are we supposed to meet quality guys? The best way to avoid a major disappointment is to get an introduction from someone else - a vouch, if you will. That's the philosophy behind Jess, Meet Ken - a dating site that initially went live last February and was a 2014 MassChallenge participant. Now, the website—based out of MassChallenge in South Boston— is officially launching, enabling users to finally start meeting one another.

The way it works is simple: Women who know great guys answer a few questions about them, which then generate profiles that other users can scope out. And women who are looking for those great guys can browse through the database of eligible bachelors with the assurance that another chick has advocated for them.

After the events of last week, baseball teams around the country adopted the Boston Red Sox's unofficial team anthem, Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline," as their own. Even better, Diamond himself performed the song himself at the Red Sox's first home game since the tragedy.

Warm your heart and spread the good news over at our Restoring Faith in Humanity Week page!

Get your tissues ready!