Dollar Shave Club has the solution to your poopy problems: One Wipe Charlies! The softest, cleanest, fastest manliest way to handle your business.
They say sex sells, but what else starts with 'S' and ends with 'ex?' SKRILLEX! Wrap your stupid face around the new improved type of commercial, then go out and drain your bank account to buy our useless crap! Courtesy of bass that drops harder and faster than your credit score!
If you get through all 2:49 of it without cringing, you may be superhuman...
... which I suppose would mean that you're just better than all of us, aren't you?