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This week in Springfield, Illinois the forces of evil have emerged victorious.

Mayor J. Michael Houston has awarded G.I. Joe’s nemesis Cobra Commander the key to the city.

“Springfielders near and far, I accept your Mayor’s generous gift,” he said. “And let it be known that I too bring a gift for every man, woman and child of this city that is so near and dear to my heart; an invitation to join with me. Join Cobra!”

It makes a lot of sense, considering Springfield served as a secret base for the villain and his forces in the cartoon.

The stunt is actually a promotion for the upcoming G.I. Joe convention which will be held in the city, which they describe as the “mythical home of COBRA,” from April l9-12.

So now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

Here’s a supercut of Cobra Commander shouting at everyone because that’s just what he does and will continue to do in Illinois now that they’ve welcomed him with open arms.

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Ellen Degeneres invited Orlando night club shooting survivor Tony Marrero to share his story on her show (above) and you'll feel all the feels.

He found strength in Katy Perry's music while recovering in the hospital from four gunshot wounds to his back, so Ellen surprises him by letting him and Perry meet, where she offers to personally pay for his first year at film school:



Thankfully, the last Pulse shooting survivor was just discharged from the hospital after nearly 3 months.




No matter what, #lovewins