Did I just make a pun about writing utensils and poop, based on a popular idiom? Yes. Yes I did. You're welcome.
Being on hold, as frustrating for doors as it is for humans.
Nah, it's still more creepy than sad. ~Not-So-Handy Andy
Add more locks and crappy tape over your tail lights and he may stay in there.
Mufflers are making a killing on the black market right now.
~Not-"Not-So-Handy Andy" Jack