(My Dad and I at Burger King) Dad: I want a whopper with extra bacon, I want a large fry, I want two cokes, and I want it delivered to my table by a Brazilian hooker. Cashier: What? Dad: YOU HEARD ME! I WANT TO HAVE IT MY WAY!
(My dad in response to Tyler, the Creator's "Bitch Suck Dick") Dad: Did he just say he's f**king a unicorn? Me: Yes, yes he sure did Dad: I don't blame him.... I'd f**k a unicorn, they're sexy as hell.
