I'm Still in Recovery

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choclate rain,Cookie Monster,Michael Scott,the office,youtube
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Oh Michael-from-The-Office, we'll miss you, even though we did nothing to commemorate your passing from the show. Now there was a missed opportunity.

~Office Lackey Jack

I've Got 99 Problems and Number 2 is 1

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Warning: language.

Dollar Shave Club has the solution to your poopy problems: One Wipe Charlies! The softest, cleanest, fastest manliest way to handle your business.

Millennials in the Workplace: A Training Video

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Boomers! Have you recently hired a whiny, entitled, passive-aggressive, constantly offended new coworker who has an odd mixture of shaky self-esteem and an inflated sense of expertise brought about by years of having information and encyclopedic knowledge at their fingertips on the internet? Then this is the training video for you!

Show them how to do what Boomers do best, like:

  • Showing up on time!
  • Staying awake at early morning meetings!
  • Carrying out simple repetitive office tasks!
  • Buying a house at age 23!
  • Tanking the economy!
  • Eliminating sociocultural safety structures for poor people!
  • Living the dream!

Better Names for Things, Round 2: Electric Boogalamp

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Pleated-Jeans' Jeff Wysaski heads to Lowe's for another round of improving the names of household objects. Because let's be honest, why call it picnic table when you can call it an "elevated food floor?"