I hear it'll be a real blockbuster...

Then call the law offices of Lando Calrissian! He'll get you republic credits NOW for your structured settlement!

Up next: the Imperial Star Destroyer! Stay tuned!

Even if you miss, you'll... well, never mind. If you're a stormtrooper, you'll just miss, period.

Your sad devotion to parking in a red zone has not helped you conjure up a good excuse, Lord Vader! Or given you clairvoyance enough to talk your way out of-

Because May Day sure as hell wasn't.

While scrolling through the internet, I happened upon this scroll. Actually, I wouldn't call it a scroll. More like a scripture.

Happy May the 4th be with you, everybody!