Here at DerpCorp, We Don't Like to Hire People With So-Called "Flaws"

Favorite
Here at DerpCorp, We Don't Like to Hire People With So-Called "Flaws"
- -

"Then how did you get hired in the first place, sir?"

"Hmmm, candidate uses logic and is openly defiant of superiors. You're just shooting yourself in the foot now buddy... candidate also only has one functional foot..."

Dear Sir or Mammoth

Favorite
Dear Sir or Mammoth
- -

Qualifications

I constantly hunger for a challenge. I have a very cann-do attitude. I am a team player, and have experience spearheading team projects.

Made Blatantly False Claims on Résumé

Favorite
Made Blatantly False Claims on Résumé
- -

"Optimized client assets for strategic marketing purposes."

Forever a Drone

Favorite
Forever a Drone
- -

"You're hired!!! When can you start?" "Sir, did you even read the rest of-" "I'll ask the questions here!"

Here's My Rezoom

Favorite
Here's My Rezoom
- -

I'm just gonna go 'head and assume I get the job, so just let me know when I start, thanks!