One angel food cake: $6.95. Seeing the look on your buddy's face when his free steak salad costs him two weeks' salary: priceless.
I'm such a good (self) tipper!
Bacon and eggs, naturally. He's a murderer, not a cannibal!
Either the service was awful, the tipper is a dick, or the tipper has OCD and always needs to round to the tenth digit. His illness makes him a social pariah.
"The man was upset from the beginning because he didn't get his muffin in a timely manner."
I'm surprised he didn't call his lawyer, because he seems just about that finnicky.
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