That's a Clever Way of Saying "I Quit"

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It's a shame, there was going to be a party on the 32nd just for you. There was going to be cake and ice cream and everything. Shame you're going to miss it.

-Water Cooler Chris

I Guess That Means Drugs for Mario

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comic,do what you want,quit,quitting View Fullscreen
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Man, I had some mushrooms and I grew, like, 50 feet man. Not mentally or developmentally or anything like that. Physically. It was so real, man.

~Mario

Oooh Fun I Love Contests

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This was a memo actually issued to the employees of QC Marts, an Iowa-based chain of convenience stores, back in March. The owner of the chain announced a contest in which employees would guess which of their number would be the next to get the proverbial ax. Four employees, who for some reason felt uncomfortable turning on their coworkers like rabid wolves, quit in protest. QC Marts denied them unemployment benefits, arguing they had quit voluntarily, until a judge ruled against the chain yesterday and ordered them to provide benefits. The judge argued that the employees resigned because of "good cause attributable to the employer," since the chain owner "clearly created a hostile work environment by suggesting employees turn on each other for a minimal monetary prize."

Legalese has the best way of explaining the must effed-up situations in the dryest terms.

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