DON'T YOU DIE ON ME NOW!!!

Emphasis on "HAVE!"

Here are few more souls who might sympathize with you.

Great! I forgot to exorcise the printer again!

It's a sex joke! Ha!

So sad. He was so young. He had just turned 1.1!

Here we see an ad for HP touting their ultrarealistic printing ability. Sorry guys, but creepiness doesn't get any less creepier in laser quality.