Better Names for Things, Round 2: Electric Boogalamp

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Pleated-Jeans' Jeff Wysaski heads to Lowe's for another round of improving the names of household objects. Because let's be honest, why call it picnic table when you can call it an "elevated food floor?"

Don't Even Get Me Started on the Family Size

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Don't Even Get Me Started on the Family Size
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I swear they're getting smaller and smaller while the bags are getting bigger and bigger...

You Know We Hate It, And Yet You Do It Anyway...

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You Know We Hate It, And Yet You Do It Anyway...
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GREAT. NOW I CAN'T HEAR OUT OF MY LEFT EAR BECAUSE YOUR STUPID MAX-VOLUME AUTOPLAY AD BLEW OUT MY EARDRUM. JUST SUPER.

Tipping Tips

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Tipping Tips
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For the New York City version, simply replace all figures in the "good job" column with "nothing."