Think Happy Thoughts!

Favorite
dubstep,married to the sea,MRI
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Try to relax while this gigantic magnet machine surrounds you and unleashes an eleventy-billion decibel dubstep concert on your eardrums. Deep cleansing breaths!

It Sorta Smells Like Bread, But It's Turkey-Based Bread

Favorite
courts,judges,comics,Subway,married to the sea
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Bun Bandit? No, That's Dumb...

Favorite
hamburger,hamburglar,married to the sea,McDonald's
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Pickle pilferer? No, that's stupid too...

Honesty? Best Policy? Whatever, Bro...

Favorite
dollar bills,honesty,investors,married to the sea,one-dollar bills
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Sorry, but we have a policy against honesty here.