Oooh Fun I Love Contests

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This was a memo actually issued to the employees of QC Marts, an Iowa-based chain of convenience stores, back in March. The owner of the chain announced a contest in which employees would guess which of their number would be the next to get the proverbial ax. Four employees, who for some reason felt uncomfortable turning on their coworkers like rabid wolves, quit in protest. QC Marts denied them unemployment benefits, arguing they had quit voluntarily, until a judge ruled against the chain yesterday and ordered them to provide benefits. The judge argued that the employees resigned because of "good cause attributable to the employer," since the chain owner "clearly created a hostile work environment by suggesting employees turn on each other for a minimal monetary prize."

Legalese has the best way of explaining the must effed-up situations in the dryest terms.

Today in Ways to Waste Time at Work: Super Vladimir Putin Bros.

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And the best part is that the game takes place on a web browser-style backdrop (albeit one in Russian), so there's a slim chance your boss won't notice when he walks by! You can play it here.

However, the game is incredibly supportive of Putin (enough that the "suggestion" in the article's last paragraph doesn't seem so far-fetched), so only play if you're willing to ignore Putin's authoritarian track record and let the awesome take you in. The game displays Russian websites proclaiming some national problem (or so I gather from context), and you control Putin as he fixes the problems like he's Bruce Willis. Home prices too high? PUTIN GRABS FLOATING MONEY AND GIVES THEM TO ELDERLY HOMEOWNERS. Forest fires? PUTIN GETS IN A PLANE AND PUTS THEM OUT. Terrorism? PUTIN PUNCHES THE TERRORISTS IN THE FACE. Problems solved.

~Office Lackey Jack

Download the new Cheezburger app for a chance to win a PS4! in Cheezburger 's Hangs on LockerDome