God, Shannon, You're the Worst

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God, Shannon, You're the Worst
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You know what's even worse? Cashier's that correct your grammar. GOD Shannon I KNOW the apostrophe doesn't go there. Lay OFF, woman.

~OLJ

Customer: Served

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Customer: Served
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Looks like Dreamworks has found a new concept for a movie. It'll be about a dinosaur who feels alone and isolated from other dinosaurs because of his drug problem, and he becomes hostile and bitter. Eventually a plucky and fast-talking pterodactyl named Pewt befriends him, despite his initial recalcitrance, and the two save Dinoville from time-travelling big-game hunters by giving them so many hallucinogenics that the hunters wander off a cliff and fall to their doom. The citizens of Dinoville now learn to accept and tolerate the dinosaur's drug habit and the dinosaur, in turn, learns to love them back.

The Nine Crusts of Hell

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The Nine Crusts of Hell
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When the waiter singles you out for death, everyone else on the waitstaff does their best to avoid you. Dead men don't tip.

job fails - pentagrampizza

job fails - hellno

job fails - jesus