LOL! Balrogs are illiterate!
Did anyone else see this and think of strippers? No? Never mind.
It's like a white-collar Jean Valjean who has a job, but is still so poor that he has to steal energy bars in order to feed his family. He is hunted down relentlessly by coworker Javert.
~Office Lackey Jack
Keeping employees' thieving hands away from a stack of beer is like keeping an ADD person's eyes from looking at a squirrel.