It's like a white-collar Jean Valjean who has a job, but is still so poor that he has to steal energy bars in order to feed his family. He is hunted down relentlessly by coworker Javert.
~Office Lackey Jack
There's a Greg in our office, and this flowchart would work perfectly for him. Except it would be placed in front of the coffee, and instead of asking if he has permission, it would ask "Did you make the coffee? Have you ever made coffee? No? Then go away."